93 Either change the work or change what we do extra for people or customers. Cut back and go back to ‘no favors’ kind of approach. Another leader said that he felt “pigeon-holed” by the customer. All the leaders were bewildered when customers took advantage of the company and when customers terminated a contract after the company had spent money. Participant Q said that sometimes they must use their knowledge base to avoid conflict with the customer. He said, “Something does not work, [it] does not work. The client might say, ‘You costed me money, buying this thing.’ But what am I supposed to say, ‘What you showed me does not meet code.’ So, you kind of fall back on your knowledge base to that.” Leaders had to forgive their supervisors for personal attacks in the public territory, showing favoritism, and blocking career growth. When supervisors personalized their anger and called leaders under them “incompetent,” the participants, who themselves are accomplished leaders with proven track records, had to choose to forgive. Sometimes forgiveness came over time, as was seen with participant I. His supervisor intentionally pulled him out of a project he had planned and executed to make way for one of her favorites. Seeing unfair behavior in action, this leader joined a new team. Sometime later, he felt justified when the supervisor was terminated from her position. Participant I realized that there were others also who had noticed that she was not a good leader. He felt vindicated, which helped him to forgive his former supervisor. On extending forgiveness to supervisors, participant Q said, “You can forgive a little better when you are not put in a bad situation that gets worse.” Sometimes the struggle to forgive continued over time. This was true when the hurt was intentional, destructive, and caused by a trusted party. One of the leaders was going through the process of internal struggle on how to forgive a former trusted business partner. He said every time he forgave, his business partner would do “one more thing that was very upsetting.” This leader’s commitment to high-minded values and the struggles that come with it was seen in his comment, “I am still working through that [forgiving him].” THE ROLE OF FORGIVENESS IN LEADERSHIP AND ORGANIZATIONAL WELL-BEING
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